Note: This is part of a series of Walton Insights reviews of classic books on business and leadership.
There was no planned order for reviewing the books on my list of business classics, so call it coincidence or providence that I picked up The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People immediately after reviewing How to Win Friends and Influence People.
My review of How to Win Friends and Influence People noted that I had a “strong memory” of my late, great father recommending that I read that book. And now I find written proof that my late, great mother wanted me to read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. On a blank page near the front there’s a handwritten note: “from mother, Christmas 1991, Hope you enjoy this as much as I have. It affirms my beliefs and reminds me to keep trying.”
Interestingly, the two books, like my mother and father, are very different but complementary. One book is about the basic art of building relationships in which people like you and therefore help you achieve your goals. The other is about developing fundamental habits for personal improvement. But both are about influence, and that’s the heart of leadership.
Stephen R. Covey, the author of 7 Habits, sets up his book by making a clear distinction between his message and that of books like Friends, although he doesn’t name names. Instead, he talks about the difference between the “personality ethic” and the “character ethic.”
The character ethic involves things like integrity, humility, courage, justice, patience, and industry as basic principles for effective living.
The personality ethic, he says, views success more as a “function of personality, of public image, of attitudes and behaviors, skills and techniques, that lubricate the processes of human interaction.” This is the domain of positive thinking and “public relations” techniques that, when abused, can be “manipulative, even deceptive” in an attempt to “get other people to like them.”
The problem, Covey points out, is that after World War I society mostly left the character ethic behind in a race to embrace the personality ethic.
Dale Carnegie, of course, wrote How to Win Friends and Influence People in 1936, a few years before the start of World War II. But I believe he wrote with an underlying assumption that the techniques he taught are founded upon a commitment to the character ethic – that those interested in his self-help advice were adding it to their character ethic, not abandoning one for the other.
By the time of Covey, however, there’s no doubting that the conviction and commitment to the character ethic had seriously eroded. He brings his readers back to a principle-centered paradigm, and this part of his message remains much-needed in society.
“The clitter of the Personality Ethic, the massive appeal, is that there is some quick and easy way to achieve quality of life,” Covey writes, adding, “It’s symbol without substance. … The Personality Ethic is illusory and deceptive.”
Well, it certainly can be, but it doesn’t have to be. Still, I agree, and suspect Carnegie would have agreed, that meaningful success is based first on what Covey calls a principle-centered, inside-out approach to personal and interpersonal effectiveness.
For this reason, the first two chapters of Covey’s book alone are worth reading as a reminder of the character-driven mindset needed when taking on these types of books. After that, you can dive into the actual habits Covey says you need for success.
The habits themselves have held up nicely over time. Covey picked them and ordered them in a logical way so that they build on and complement each other. There are plenty of other habits he could have picked that are important or even essential to success, but you will do well by focusing on what’s there rather than debating what’s missing. If you nail these seven habits, you will increase your odds of a successful life, even if you find that you also want or need other good habits.
Because Covey’s work has become so popular, the temptation is to think it’s enough to know what the habits are. Many leaders have heard them, even if they’ve never read the book or don’t know their origins: Be proactive. Begin with the end in mind. Put first things first. Think win/win. Seek first to understand, then to be understood. Synergize. Sharpen the saw (continuous improvement). They are part of the business lexicon.
At least one habit (synergize) has been so overused (and abused) that it’s passed into the realm of jargon and has been the source of humor on shows like The Office. And over time, several Covey habits have been criticized as shallow one-liner clichés.
My suggestion is to do what Covey did: Take the best of what’s there, put it into practice as well as you can, and keep adding to it with fresh shifts in how you think about yourself and the world around you.
There’s plenty to nitpick about 7 Habits. While Covey’s writing is clear and well-organized, it can be a bit tedious. He tends to make and illustrate a point multiple times, which some readers might appreciate. It often caused me to want to skip ahead to something new.
But whatever your complaints, there’s also a baby in the bathwater. Don’t lose sight of the important truths that really can help you succeed. When I focused on the insights, my re-reading of the book put me firmly in my mother’s camp: I enjoyed it, it affirmed my beliefs, and it reminded me to keep trying.
Stephen Caldwell is Chief Word Architect for WordBuilders, Inc., where he spends most of his time
helping clients discover, craft, and share the messages of their hearts. In addition
to writing and editing for newspapers, magazines, and on numerous book projects, he
has developed leadership and functional training for Fortune 500 companies. He lives in Fayetteville, Arkansas.
