Letting It Out: The Power of Workplace Venting

Whether it’s during a lunchtime walk or a quick coffee break on the way to the office, few things feel as satisfying as venting to a coworker. Sure, it might seem “more professional” to save those frustrations for a spouse, roommate, or friend outside of work, but will they truly understand how infuriating your micromanaging boss is? Or how a coworker in the next cubicle keeps swiping your yogurt from the office fridge? Probably not. Coworkers often provide a unique kind of support because they share the same environment and are more likely to empathize with specific frustrations.

Venting is a fundamental form of interpersonal communication, dating back to the writings of Aristotle. When frustrations build up, people often feel a need to release them, seeing venting as a way to alleviate stress and tension from workplace challenges. This release can serve as both a coping mechanism for the venter and a moment of connection or strain for the listener. However, the act of venting is not always straightforward. Its outcomes can depend heavily on the dynamics between the listener and the venter. For the venter, sharing frustrations may provide emotional relief, but how does venting make the listener feel? To fully understand the effects of venting at work, we must also look at how venting affects the listener, not just the venter.

Research from Walton College Distinguished Professor of Management Christopher Rosen, alongside co-authors Allison Gabriel (Purdue University), Young Eun Lee (Florida State University), Joel Koopman (Texas A&M University), Aqsa Dutli (Purdue University), and John Bush (University of Central Florida), examines these complex interactions. Their study, “The Receipt of Venting at Work: A Multi-Study Investigation of Affective and Behavioral Reactions for Venting Recipients” looks to uncover the dual-edged nature of venting, offering insights into how it can simultaneously strain and strengthen workplace relationships.

Feelings at Work: Distress vs. Empathy

When a coworker vents, it can trigger two primary reactions: personal distress and empathy. These two reactions come from the theory of vicarious emotions, a concept which suggests that observing someone else’s suffering brings about distinct and conflicting emotional responses. While these reactions do shape one’s feelings in the moment, they also influence behaviors and interactions in the future. Because of this, it is critical to understand the ways these reactions affect workplace communication.

Personal distress is a self-focused emotional response characterized by feelings of worry, alarm, or discomfort. This can occur when a coworker’s frustrations start to feel overwhelming or when their situation starts to threaten your personal well-being. For example, listening to a coworker vent about a micromanaging boss might trigger a sense of anxiety as you start to imagine how that same behavior could negatively affect you. This type of reaction, while rooted in concern, often centers on your own emotional experience rather than the coworker’s and it may leave you feeling uneasy or even drained after the interaction.

In contrast, empathy represents a more outwardly focused and compassionate reaction. This emotional response is defined by feelings of tenderness, understanding, and care toward the person sharing their frustrations. When you experience empathy, you’re better able to put yourself in your coworker’s shoes, connecting with their experience on a deeper level. For instance, hearing about their struggles with a heavy workload might prompt you to offer a helping hand or words of encouragement, fostering a sense of support and camaraderie.

Interestingly, these two emotional responses – personal distress and empathy – can occur at the same time during a venting episode. You might feel anxious about the negative feelings being shared while also feeling motivated to provide comfort or assistance. The way you respond to these competing emotions can have a significant impact on the outcome of the interaction. Empathy-driven responses can strengthen workplace relationships, building trust and solidarity, while distress-driven reactions may unintentionally create tension or leave you emotionally depleted.

Understanding these emotional dynamics is crucial because your reaction to a coworker’s venting doesn’t just affect you – it also shapes the broader workplace environment. How you handle these moments can either contribute to a culture of support and understanding or perpetuate stress and disengagement. Rosen’s research emphasizes how recognizing and balancing these emotional responses is key to maintaining healthy and productive workplace relationships.

Spread the Stress or Lend a Hand?

These reactions, whether it be empathy or personal distress, can significantly affect your future interactions and the workplace dynamics that may occur. There are two typical outcomes that manifest from venting: more continued venting and helping behaviors, each of which is driven by distinct emotional motives.

Often, personal distress leads to more venting. When you feel personally distressed after listening to someone vent, you may find yourself compelled to release your own negative emotions as a coping mechanism. This “passing it on” behavior stems from a felt need to alleviate the uncomfortable feelings caused by personal distress. For instance, if the coworker who is struggling with their boss decides to vent to you about a particularly frustrating meeting, you might turn to another colleague to share how that conversation made you feel. You might feel stress that this type of meeting might happen to you, or that you might get reprimanded for speaking about a meeting that you were not a part of. While this cycle of venting can provide temporary relief, it may also create a negative environment, as distress and negativity spread quickly from person to person without addressing the root of the frustration.

On the other hand, empathy can lead to helping behaviors, which can be beneficial for both the venter and the listener. In this case, the listener is more focused on alleviating the negative feelings of the venter, rather than focusing on the discomfort they feel when hearing the complaints. Employees who feel empathy toward their venting coworker are more likely to offer assistance or support. For example, this type of coworker might offer to take on a few extra tasks to alleviate a venting coworker’s workload or even just offer support in the form of listening without judgement or comment. These types of exchanges help foster positive social interactions and relationships among coworkers.

Similarity Sparks Empathy

To understand these reactions, we must also understand how personal connections might influence a person’s tendency toward either empathy or personal distress. Whether it be from personal experience or by witnessing others interact, we can all acknowledge that in general, people are naturally more patient and understanding with those they see as similar to themselves. Whether you have shared experiences, values, or just a general sense of connection, it is easier to empathize with someone when you feel like you “get” where they are coming from.

Rosen’s research also found that perceived similarity has a large impact on how people react to venting. This means that if a worker views someone as similar to themselves, they will react differently. Through this research, Rosen found that if an employee views their venting coworker as similar to themselves, they are more likely to respond with empathy as opposed to personal distress. Because they feel similar to their coworker, they are more likely to understand how the venter is feeling, making it more likely that they will want to help alleviate the feelings of distress through helping actions. A person who sees themselves as similar might try to provide communication techniques to the coworker who struggles with their boss or offer to take walks throughout the day to relieve the tension.

On the other hand, past research suggests that it is hard to relate to someone’s feelings when you do not relate to that person in general, meaning that you may be less inclined to offer support or feel connected to their emotions. This lack of connection can lead to a weaker sense of empathy and understanding, making it harder for coworkers to engage in positive or supportive interactions. For example, if you have never experienced the micromanagement of a superior, you might struggle to fully grasp your coworker's frustration, leading to a more detached or dismissive response.

Building Bridges, Not Barriers 

So, what do we do with this information? How do we foster more empathetic responses to coworkers at work? This research reminds us of the importance of coworker connections in the workplace, but how do we build these connections to facilitate healthier relationships? Rosen mentions that company rituals, practices, and professional training can effectively cultivate empathy. Things such as team building exercises, company outings, and daily interactions might just be the key to creating a workplace where employees feel free to vent to their coworkers in a healthy, productive way.

By strengthening relationships among coworkers, companies can allow employees to view venting as an opportunity to connect and provide support rather than as a source of personal distress. By encouraging employees to approach venting as a moment for understanding and shared connection, organizations can create stronger workplace relationships and a more supportive environment that benefits both individuals and teams.