American Nonverbal Communication

Speakers are expected to adjust the volume of their voices to accommodate the speaking situation (e.g., the number of listeners, the physical space in which the conversation takes place, and the physical distance between speaker and listener(s)). Speakers who speak too softly come across as unconfident and may frustrate listeners if they must struggle to hear the speaker. In contrast, speakers who speak too loudly come across as aggressive and may offend listeners; this is because a louder voice is associated with anger in American culture. However, effective speakers may occasionally raise their volume when discussing certain topics to add emphasis to those topics.

Speakers are expected to match the formality of the language they use to the speaking situation. In relatively informal situations, such as gatherings among close friends or family members, speakers are expected to use the elements of an informal tone (e.g., slang, colloquial language, and idiomatic expressions); however, in formal situations, such as classrooms or office meetings, speakers are expected to avoid these elements and maintain a formal, professional tone. Speakers who use an inappropriate tone for the occasion risk offending their listeners. See our resource on General Rules for Business Communication for more information about tone.

American speakers can subtly change the meaning of what they say simply by giving emphasis to different words in a sentence (i.e., by stating those words more loudly or slowly than the others). For example, consider the following three sentences, where the words in italics receive the most emphasis: I’m not saying that you stole those books. (Here, the speaker implies that while he is not outright making the claim, he is certainly thinking it to himself) I’m not saying that you stole those books. (Here, the speaker implies that someone else stole the books) I’m not saying that you stole those books. (Here, the speaker implies that the listener stole other books)

Tempo refers to how quickly a speaker speaks. In most cases, American speakers are expected to speak at a moderate pace: speaking too quickly may cause listeners to miss important information, but speaking too slowly may bore or frustrate listeners. Effective speakers may, however, occasionally slow down their speech to add emphasis to certain points.

American communicators are expected to maintain eye contact with their fellow communicators, whether they are speaking or listening. By maintaining eye contact with their listener(s), speakers send the message that what they are saying is worth listening to. As a listener, avoiding eye contact by looking to the sides of the speaker suggests a lack of interest in what the speaker has to say. Avoiding eye contact by looking down suggests that the listener is intimidated by the speaker. Avoiding eye contact by looking up—or rolling the eyes—suggests that the listener is annoyed by the speaker. Any of these methods of avoiding eye contact (but especially looking up or rolling the eyes) may offend the speaker. See our resources on Delivery for more information about eye contact.  Note: Making prolonged eye contact with (staring at) someone who is not either speaking to you or hearing you speak is often considered rude in American culture.

Eye rolls are a sign of severe exasperation. It shows that ou disregard and are annoyed by what someone is saying or doing. In formal settings, there are few if any instances where an eye roll would be appropriate. This sends a confrontational and dismissive message.

It is expected for American communicators to stand or sit up straight rather than hunched over. Maintaining an erect posture indicates that the communicator is confident and serious; in contrast, a hunched posture suggests a lack of confidence or motivation

It is generally expected for American communicators to remain still unless there is a valid reason for moving (e.g., when gesturing). Pacing back and forth, swiveling in one’s seat, tapping one’s feet on the floor, tapping one’s fingers, playing with objects such as a pen or phone, and similar forms of “fidgeting” suggest nervousness (especially when done by speakers) and boredom (especially one done by listeners). They may also distract the speaker.

It is generally expected for listeners to remain completely silent while the speaker is speaking. Making noises could distract the speaker, and it also suggests a flippant attitude toward what the speaker is saying. Sighing (audibly breathing out) suggests frustration, anger, or impatience, even if the communicator does not mean it that way. Avoid sighing in formal situations. Yawning suggests boredom; if you must yawn, cover your mouth, and do not accompany the yawn with an audible noise.